Muirmaiden & Spock: A Journey During This Time Of Crisis

Spock: The Icon

Dear readers, in my first blog post of 2020, I decided to write something that is still tied to my love of classic Hollywood and the arts, but also that has a deeper meaning to me. As with most others during this COVID-19 crisis, I have found myself spending more time all by my lonesome, more so than I would like (and I say this as a person who is somewhat introverted). This has led me to not only re-watching shows and films that were significant to me in my growing up years, and re-reading books connected to that, but also having more time to re-examine and acknowledge things about myself that have been thought-provoking and somewhat painful. However, it has been enlightening and I wanted to share some of it with you.

I don't consider myself a Trekkie, but I am a fan of the original Star Trek and the character of Spock, the half-Vulcan, half-human science officer, played masterfully and memorably by the late Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015), and this was a seed that was planted early in my childhood by my grandmother (she passed away one month before Mr. Nimoy). Like many others, I was able to see reruns and of course, everybody loved the guy with the pointed ears. As I grew older, I began to see that the character was very complex, and often at war with himself because of his mixed heritage. He prized his "logical" Vulcan half but was ashamed of his human ancestry; as Vulcans suppress their emotions, his human side made it even more difficult to do so. Displaying emotion was seen as shameful, embarrassing, and a sign of weakness. Romance and love were always doomed because he placed duty above everything. His father did not support his career choice and this complicated things further as Spock didn't seem to belong in either world. As a result, Spock was often in conflict with himself and this is in large part why he resonated with so many and why he is the most iconic and beloved character in the Star Trek franchise. Not only was he the only alien member of the original crew but he represented something that so many of us have felt at one time or another; being out of place, battling inner demons, and learning to accept yourself.

Ladies Love Spock

 Not surprisingly, female viewers found the character particularly attractive because of those traits. As the series creator Gene Roddenberry put it, they knew that there was an emotional being inside him; they wanted to comfort him, encourage him, love him. All the things that he had been conditioned to avoid or suppress, and this, coupled with his intelligence (the fact that he was portrayed by a handsome and talented actor certainly helped matters as well) was what made him compelling to watch; Leonard Nimoy stated that Spock was interesting to play because he did indeed have emotions. 

A young Leonard Nimoy in the 1950s

 Leonard Nimoy drew on much of his own personal experience throughout his career. He identified with the feeling of being an outsider; he was a Jewish kid growing up in a predominately Italian neighborhood; that alone, made him different. His parents did not encourage his career, something that he also shared with Spock. While he spent much time helping to create Spock as a character, his work did take him away from his personal life a great deal of the time and his need to make sure that his family would always be financially secure (no doubt due to the fact that he was a child of the Great Depression) put distance between him and his loved ones. He was respected and loved for his professionalism, his kindness, and his generosity, but he had his demons and his personal struggles. To say that Spock impacted both his professional and personal life would be an understatement; type-casting being just one of those issues. However, his fondness for Spock remained, as he pointed out many times. 

Nimoy with his children, Julie and Adam in the 1960s

His relationships with his children had its ups and downs over the years; it can't be easy being the child of such a famous actor, much less one associated with such an iconic character. Trying to find an identity for yourself is hard enough without media scrutiny, fan adoration, and inevitable comparisons. The love, however, ultimately won out in the end. I think most people would love to have that kind of reconciliation with their families. 

Leonard Nimoy in later years

At his final Star Trek Convention in 2011, in his farewell to fans speech, Mr. Nimoy talked about how he had struggled to find out who he was, and how it was an ongoing process. His experiences, both positive and negative shaped him, he had many interests and talents, which he discovered and nurtured at different times in his life; the dark times, the hope and optimism for humanity, gave him insight and knowledge that he enjoyed sharing with others. Everyone has talents, everyone is creative, everyone has something that is uniquely their own. Spock played a large part and he was happy to be associated with a character that has become an icon. Leonard Nimoy brought his talent and intelligence to his work and shared it with the world, and his fans will remain forever grateful. 

The journey to self-discovery never really ends, and part of that is the realization that human beings are multi-faceted; the side of someone that you see or know may be completely different for someone else. We are the best and the worst of ourselves, to deny or ignore that would be unhealthy. This leads back to our thoughts and feelings. I'm still trying to find my way and I still occasionally ask myself, "Who the hell am I?" And it's okay, it's normal, and most of all, it's human.  

During this time of crisis, it's natural to feel depressed, sad, angry, anxious, tired, etc. Please don't be ashamed of your emotions; we have them for a reason. As difficult as it is to connect with others right now, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging your feelings; in doing so you will be getting to know yourself. And that's part of what life is all about. Hang in there everyone, and take care. Peace out. 

"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory"
Leonard Nimoy